Are we there yet?

So one of the things I learnt from childbirth is that, as always, the movies have lied to us. Darn you Hollywood!! As soon as the waters break it is not the case that you have to get your partner to the hospital quicker than Usain Bolt can run the 100m. She is not going break waters, scream and shout for five minutes with some random person in her nether region saying ‘just one more push!' and your child will be born all clean and washed with no blood or mucus. Oh no, it’s a marathon, well for us it was. Both times.

Both of our children’s births were different, with Bella being induced and Connie coming au natural. But both times it has taking over 24 hours from the waters breaking to the actual birth of a crying, blood stained, flop covered bouncing baby.

You will obviously have the emergency bag neatly packed and waiting by the door, but from my experience, I have learnt that what is in there is either not enough or useless (why do we have 26 nappies, 3 packs of wipes and yet no grown up food?!)

So in order to help the support team, I have listed a couple of things that will help both you and your friend/partner through their labour:

 Pack supplies 

This is mainly for the support team, you will be there a while. Have plenty of snacks and water to keep your energy high so when it gets to the crunch you aren’t asleep counting sheep in the corner whilst your friend/partner is screaming blue murder and near throttling the midwife. 

Also make sure the food and water isn’t noisy, smelly or in any way offensive. Your friend /partner will be turning into a troll and will be easy to upset so leave the Wotsits and pickled onions and don't be slurping the last contents out of a Capri Sun.

Be aware of all the vending machines and canteens, their contents and their locations. You will need to go all Bear Grylls and locate a supply of food and water should you end up using all of your own supplies. Plus this will help keep everyone from getting ‘hangry’ (hungry and angry, we will cover this in another blog) which should help maintain a calm and happy(ish) atmosphere.

 Spare change

Get a tenner (at least) and break it up into pound coins. This covers the car park and the vending machines. Leave this change in the emergency bag you will be thankful when all the water and haribos are gone that you have this little bag of gold to keep you going. Make a trip to the maternity hospital and check out the parking tariffs, that way you can have the change ready to go. Bare in mind, you will be going back and forth and your partner might have to stay in for a while if there are complications.

Locate the toilets

Some labour wards only have toilets for the woman giving birth and no one will like you if you end up dropping the kids off at the pool in the only toilet in waddling reach. Remember in the labour wards all sanity is gone and no amount of trying to explain how close you were to touching cloth will do, you will probably be strung up. Don’t take the risk, scout out the toilets.

 

Nap

If she isn’t contracting regularly you can relax. It is a little time yet until things pick up and again you will need your energy. If not for the birth than definitely for after. You will have to do all the lifting and shifting for your partner once she has popped the bub out. 

Pack a change of clothes

I forgot the do this both times regretted massively. You will be there in the labour ward you will sweating alongside your partner. You may well end up with blood, tears, saliva and other questionable stains on your person. After the birth you will need to help shower your partner, this is a perfect time to squeeze in a shower too. Just a quick pits and bits wash - enough to spruce yourself up. This will make things a lot more comfortable for both if you and you will feel a lot happier when the family comes to visit. 

Literature 

Brjng books and magazines to help pass the time. There are only so many 'why breastfeeding is good' and 'how to change nappy leaflets' you can take before wanting to jump out of the nearest window. Your partner might need something too of the labour is slow (Dan passed the time by watching 'The Walking Dead' on her lap top. Which was fitting.

Chargers

Pack  one and leave it in the bag. These will keep the phone charged and therefore enable contact with the outside world as you slowly lose your mind. Just don't be on your phone during the actual labour - you will be smacked hard. In the face.

Substitutes 

Have a spare person on stand by if you can. Both times we were lucky to have someone else to be there when we needed a wee break or just 5 minutes. As I said in an earlier blog, ‘It only takes a moment and one hard contraction to turn the most sensible headed pregnant woman into a bubbling mess' she may well want someone with her at all times. We were lucky to have Dan's Mum and Lou - although at times Dan was so full of gas and air that she didn't have a clue who was even in the room!

Recording devices

Make sure they are packed and fully charged! We filmed both births, and although Dan hated being filmed during the actual labour - we both agree that it was so worth while. It helps is both to remember the births (we were both so tired both times that it was lovely to relive it a few months later) we will also use the videos as effective means of contraception when the girls encounter boys.

Once you are at the hospital and settled, it's time to get comfortable and relax. It will get hairy soon enough and you will need your wits about you when it does.

-Steve

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